Some Things Can't Be Explained
by Earth Star
Summary: During their honeymoon, Zangulus gets kidnapped by a cult and it's up to Martina to rescue him.


Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any of these characters and I don't wish to make any profit from writing this story.

* * *

**Some Things Can't Be Explained**

Ever since Martina first thought about being a newly married woman, she had many different scenarios where she and her new king would spend their honeymoon. A tropical island, a cozy castle up in the mountains, or even a a cruise on a ship. Staying in a cabin deep in the woods was not on her list.

And she was not afraid to let her newly wed husband know this fact. She remained in her spot on the bed, arms folded and glared as Zangulus entered. He remained unfazed by the dark look that would have made wolves whimper as he placed the sword against the wall.

He looked to Martina, removed his hat and sighed. "Don't tell me you're still upset?"

"Of course I am!" Martina replied. "A cabin in the woods? How can you call this a honeymoon?"

"We're alone aren't we?" Zangulus replied. "Isn't that the point?"

"Yes," Martina muttered. "But we're King and Queen now that Daddy has resigned. We should be clear examples of royalty."

Zangulus made no reply, twiddling the hat in his hands. "You're right, I am a king." He turned to her. "How much does a cruise cost?"

Martina blinked. She had not been expecting that question. "Well...um..a hundred gold?"

"Try five thousand, for the one you would want, and if we went on that cruise it would take us longer to rebuild that castle that we need as a king and queen."

Martina blushed. "I hadn't thought about that."

"And of course, there's the cost of the new guards we'll need, the servants and my new sword so I can actually protect my castle." Zangulus replied. "I looked at your father's financial records and they're a mess. I'm amazed Zoana hasn't gone bankrupt while he was king."

Martina tapped her chin. "Actually, I suddenly recall my mother screaming at my father about how much he was spending on robes and needless architecture." Her mother had died when Martina was young, but she always remembered her being a strong determined woman. Picturing her mother chewing the woman's father out for spending money needlessly fitted her character.

Zangulus sighed. "In any case, as a king I figured we should be putting our money into our country rather than ourselves."

Martina stared at him starry eyed. "Oh darling, you sound so manly. You'll make a wonderful king."

"I don't think being a king has anything to do with it," he remarked, wrapping his arms around her. "It's just common sense." He smirked. "But don't worry, I'll make sure you get enough pleasure that as you would get at any island."

Martina smiled contently as she kissed him. How did she ever get such a wonderful man?

808080808080808080808

Early evening, as much as Zangulus wished to stay in bed with is wife, he forced himself to venture outside. It was going to become colder and darker soon and they would need firewood.

"Don't be too long," Martina demanded. "I don't like being in this cabin by myself. I'm thankful I have Zoamelgustar to protect me."

"Relax, I'll be back before you even miss me." Zangulus put his hat back on his head. "There's a pile of dry wood near the cabin, so I'm not too far off. Just don't go leaving the cabin." He frowned. "I would prefer not have to go searching the woods for my missing wife."

Martina pouted. "I'm not an airhead darling! And I wouldn't dare go outside, there are bugs out there."

"Good enough," Zangulus replied, reaching for the door. "I'll be back soon."

Zangulus gave a low whistle as he walked to the wood pile. The man from whom they were renting the cabin had made sure to point it out to them as he guided them there. The man had also warned the pair of them to be wary. There were rumours of bandits being near by. People had been finding themselves attacked recently in these woods and barely being able to escape.

Zangulus had smirked at the warning. He would welcome a bandit attack. He might be a married king now, but that didn't mean he couldn't keep his sword skills sharp. _Besides, I can't beat Gourry if I have no opponents to practice on._

The wood pile came into view. Zangulus watched the area for any signs of wild animals as he gathered the dry logs. He was not in the mood to fight with the a bear at the moment.

Then he heard a whisper. Zangulus paused momentarily right before picking another log. There were men nearby, five, no, seven. Calmly Zangulus put down the logs and whipped out his sword. "All right, who's there?"

There was a series of suppressed gasps. "Don't bother to pretend, I know you're there!" Zangulus growled.

On high alert, he scanned the bushes. He felt movement behind him. A black robed figure held a log over his head. "In the name of the great L-sama!"

Before Zangulus could banter back, the attacker slammed the log against his head. Zangulus crumpled to the ground, cursing as darkness consumed his sight.

8080808080808080808080

Martina fidgeted in her bed. It had been three hours since Zangulus left. She had no knowledge of living in the woods, but she at least knew collecting firewood should not take this long.

She slipped out of her bed and paced at the window. "I'm being a worrywart," she muttered. "I'll just go out and find him coming back when I do." She stared at the window. "Then why can't I shake this feeling that something is wrong?" She took out her medallion of her beloved god. "Oh, Zoamelgustar, please tell me if I should go or not?"

She tossed the medallion in the air and watched as it fell on the floor face up. "Heads, so my dear husband is in trouble!" She snatched up the medallion. "Oh, thank you, Zoamelgustar!"

Quickly, Martina got dressed, threw on a robe and rushed outside. She walked for a few feet, her fear increasing with each moment. Zangulus said he wasn't planning on going far, but he was nowhere in sight.

Martina recalled where pile of logs was.

To add her distress, it was a trial to walk in the dark without tripping on a tree root or rock. She sighed. "On our next honeymoon, I'm going to insist on that cruise ACK!-"

A stray branch proved to be the culprit as she fell again. She cursed spitting out the dirt. "Zangulus, you had better live through this so I can kill you." Martina froze. A familiar object poked from behind a log.

Franitcally, Martina kneeled by it and gasped. "Darling's hat." She reached out and picked it up. "Darling would never leave his hat behind, he was barely able to not wear it for our wedding." She gripped the brim of the hat. "What has that idiot gotten himself into."

8080808080808080808

Zangulus woke moaning. His hands were chained and clanged as he shifted. He was in a cell, most likely a dungeon judging by how cold and damp it was. Zangulus snarled, yanking at his chains. "I can't believe I was caught off guard."

Light footsteps echoed from the corridor. A hooded man paused in front of his cell. Zangulus was unable to see his face, but he could tell from his that he most likely wore a smug grin that Zangulus wanted to punch.

"So, you're awake. Perfect, we wouldn't want our sacrifice to not be conscious."

Zangulus narrowed his eyes. "Sacrifice?"

The hooded man extended his arms. "Consider yourself blessed! Since we have caught you on our golden eve it is surely a sign from our true god that you were meant to be our sacrifice."

Zangulus sighed. "You guys are some sort of weird cult aren't you?"

The hooded man laughed. "We are the brotherhood of the true god, that ones that the arrogance of modern men have forgotten."

"Terrific," Zangulus grumbled. "I'm also going to believe you're the men attacking anyone who came snooping around here."

"Perhaps, but does that matter?" the hooded man replied.

"No, except it doesn't explain why you didn't capture any of them to be a sacrifice. What makes me so special?"

The hooded man folded his arms. "We had to chase away trespassers as my brothers prepared for the golden eve. We couldn't risk any nonbelievers ruining our tribute to L-sama." His chuckled smugly. "However, my brothers and I agreed that any man stupid enough to wander on our territory during the golden evening would truly be a sign from Golden Lord to be a sacrifice to him."

Zangulus eyes narrowed. "Well, aren't I lucky." He glared. "If you think I'm just going to lay back and let you nutcases kill me, you're dumber than I thought."

"Strong words from the chained man in a cell." The hooded man turned. "But then again, a man attempting to fight back is more worthy of a sacrifice then a submissive one."

The chains rattled as Zangulus snarled and growled. "Just wait until I get out of here!" He frowned as he lifted the chains. _Sorry Martina, I'm going to be back late. I just hope you hasn't wandered out of the cabin._

808080808080808080

"Zangulus is lucky that Zoamelgustar told me to leave the cabin." Martina used tree branch to steady herself on her climb up the hill. _Still, what should I do once I find darling? I don't even have a sword with me._ She pondered the dilemma as she reached the top of the hill. _What would Lina do if Gourry was captured?...She probably blow the place up and nag Gourry for getting caught in the first place._

Martina folded her arms. _Well, unlike Lina, I am a dignified woman. I am a queen, therefore I should act like one._

"Where did you say you dropped your book?" a male voice suddenly said.

"It should be around here somewhere," said a second one.

"Oh, cripes!" Martina cried as she leaped to hide behind some bushes.

Martina made a hole through the leaves as two hooded men appeared from a cluster of trees. "How many times have I told you to fix that stupid hole in your pocket!"

"I said I was sorry," replied the second one. "And it's not my fault, that swordsman was heavy, so I didn't realize it had fallen out until we got to the base."

Martina held her breath. _Zangulus._

"Excuses, excuses," replied the first man. "Just find the damn book, I'm freezing. You would think our leader would give us warmer hoods."

Martina's eyes narrowed. These men were not normal, and the hoods were suggesting they were not simple townsfolk.

The hooded man searched behind some trees. "It must have fallen out around here." Then to Martina's horror, the man headed in her direction.

_What do I do? What do I do?_ Her mind was in panic. _Help me, _Zoamelgustar!She scanned the area around her and her eyes landed on a large rock. She seized the rock just as the hooded man's head appeared over the bushes. "What the? Who are-"

Martina's instincts took over. She threw the rock at the man's head. He let loose a grunt and crumpled to the ground unconscious. Martina blinked and then laughed in triumph. "Ha! I bet even LIna couldn't come up with such a great plan in less than a minute."

"Hey, Ralph, are you okay?"

Panic struck again. Crud, she forgot about the first one. She pulled the unconscious man forward to fully conceal him from the first. "I'm fine," Martina replied in her attempt at a male voice.

There was a pause. "You sure? Your voice sounds weird."

"It's just a cold!" Martina tugged the hooded robe off the man. "You're right, these robes aren't very warm!"

"That's what I've been telling everyone!" said the man. "But no one listens to old Johnny!"

As the man continued to rant, Martina quickly put on the robe. Her skin crawled at the thought of what time it was last cleaned. She gulped down her disgust. threw the hood over her head and climbed out of the bushes.

The hooded man sighed. "So, did you find your book?"

Martina nodded.

"Good, let's get back. I don't want to miss the sacrifice."

Martina shivered as she followed the man. There was no doubt in her gut who the sacrifice was.

Martina had been worried she would have to keep talking to the other man. Thankfully, Zoamelgustar provided a miracle and the hooded man continued to rant about the sloppy organization of the brotherhood. All Martina had to do was give an occasional grunt or nod and the man was never the wiser.

The man led her deep into the woods and into a large cave. He opened a trap door and revealed a long staircase. The man continued his rant as they climbed down.

"Our leader is lucky that we happened to find that swordsman on the night we needed a sacrifice. I mean, I believe in L-sama providing us what we need, but you need to prepare some back-up plans you know?"

Martina coughed. "Where did we put the swordsman again?"

The hooded man scoffed as they entered a chamber and he opened the door. "We're offering him tea in the kitchen. Where do you think he is? In the dungeon."

"Which dungeon is that?" Martina asked, praying the man would fall for this.

"Last time I checked, there was only the one down in the cellar."

"Cellar, right," Martina muttered.

The man turned as they entered a room with rows of tables and chairs. "Hey, maybe you should just go back to bed. That cold must be messing with your head if you can't remember the cellar."

Martina did a little dance in her head. "Yes, I think I'll do just that. I don't want to spread my germs around."

"And the leader wouldn't like it if you were sneezing when he chops off the swordsman's head," the man replied as he turned the corner. "I'll check up on you later."

Martina gave a nod and began to head towards a door to her left.

"Hey, Ralph, your room is that way!" the man yelled pointing toward the door to the right of her.

"Oh, my mistake, I must be sicker than I thought," Martina gave a nervous laugh as she quickly fled and shut the door.

Seeing no one in sight, Martina slumped to the floor. "That was close, but to think they would plan to kill my darling!" The notion just made her blood boil. They had only been married for a few weeks. Forget all the mindless boys she dated in her youth, she had her heart crushed by Zelgadis, Gourry and especially Xellos. Finally, FINALLY, she found a man that she was certain wasn't a mazoku or an, chimera, or idiot.

Was she going to stand by and let some cult chop his head off? Not if she had anything to say about it. With this new found determination, Martina stomped down the hall. "Now, where is this stupid cellar."

Her determination wavered as more hooded men appeared in the halls. Martina did her best of avoid eye contact. Her paranoia got the better of her as she scanned the area to be sure no one was looking while she peeked behind each closed door.

By the twelfth door, Martina's nerves were rattled. She was beginning to wonder if it would just be easier to loudly scream she was an intruder, just so someone would drag her to the same cell where Zangulus was.

She opened the thirteenth door, and to her amazement discovered another set of stairs. Deciding she had nothing to lose, Martina went down. The stairs were narrower and smaller than the ones she climbed down from the cave.

She was forced to put her hand on the wall to keep her balance. At the bottom, there were a cluster of torches hanging above what Martina assumed to be a hook. Her heart leapt as she reached the bottom.

A set of large steel keys hung from the hooks. _Large keys could only mean two things. I'm close to a treasure or a dungeon. Since I doubt these buffoons could have much in the way of luxuries, this has to be the dungeon._

Martina pounced on the keys and laughed evilly. "I found it! This is going perfectly!"

"What do you think you're doing?"

Martina jumped and turned. To her horror there was a large hooded man. "The leader made it clear no one was to come down here."

_Think, think!_ "I was looking for the bathroom keys!" Martina mentally slapped herself.

The large man tilted his head. "Do I look like a moron to you?"

"I don't know, since I can't see your face," Martina remarked.

The hooded man growled and stepped closer. "And I can't see yours. Who are you exactly? I really want to know."

Martina stepped back, searching the area for any weapon. Then, she remembered a trick her father taught her. "Look, a three headed monkey!"

The man paused and turned around. "You're nuts, I don't see-"

WHACK!

Martina slammed the keys into the back of the man's head. The large man let out a groan as he fell onto his face.

Martina clutched her keys and panted, forcing her heart to beat at a normal rate. "I can't believe that worked!"

"Hey, what's going on over there?" A familiar voice cried.

Martina's heart began to skip as she raced towards the voice. She halted in front of a cell and saw behind the bars her shocked husband.

"Darling, I found you!"

Zangulus blinked. "Martina, how did you-" He shook his head. "On second thought, explain that later. Get me out of here first."

"Certainly darling," said Martina as she examined the rings. The first four didn't fit the lock, but Zangulus was never so happy to hear a click as the fifth key was turned. Martina flew through the door as the it flung opened. "Oh darling, I'm so happy you're alright."

"Neither of us will be if you don't get me out of these chains," Zangulus replied.

She had almost forgotten about the danger, but Martina let go and went through the keys again. She tried the smallest one. "I heard one of them say they wanted to chop your head off."

Zangulus sighed. "I know, their leader came to inform me that I was going to be their sacrifice to their great L-sama."

Martina scowled as the key refused to click and tried the second smallest. "Who on earth is that?"

"You know more magic and folklore than I do," Zangulus replied.

"Well, I've never heard of him. Darn, this key won't work either." She switched to the third key on the ring. "This cult is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. Who would want to join such a group?"

Zangulus coughed. He thought about bringing up the fact that Martina had made up her own god, but since she held the keys to his freedom he held his tongue.

A quiet click was heard. "Yes!" Martina cheered throwing off the chains. "Now, let's get out of here."

The pair quickly ran past the still unconscious guard and up the stairs. Martina pulled her hood back up and peeked out the door. "There's no one here right now. Let's move fast."

They quickly dash down the hallway and would duck behind every corner they found to hide and catch their breath.

Zangulus smiled proudly at her. "I have to admit, I underestimated you. I never thought you were so good at sneaking around."

Martina puffed out her chest. "Of course I am. Daddy was so paranoid, he never let me leave the castle." She folded her arms. "If I didn't learn how to sneak past the guards, I never would have been able to go meet my boys."

Zangulus paused. "Boys? What boys?"

Martina shrugged. "Oh, you know, typical teenage boys."

Zangulus raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't put me at ease dear. In fact, it increases my concern."

"Oh, it was just a few dozen. Nothing to worry about."

"Dozen?"

Martina peeked around the corner. "We should really get moving darling."

"We're not moving until you tell me what EXACTLY you did with those dozen boys."

Martina sighed. "Oh for-"

Ear piercing bells rang throughout the halls. Martina froze. "What's that?"

Zangulus frowned. "Looks like they realized I've escaped." He grabbed Martina's wrist. "Come on, we need to get out now."

No more longer needing a reason to hide, the pair turned the corner just in time to greet a group of hooded men. "There they are!" one of them cried. "Capture them!"

"Darling," Martina replied with a twitch. "Perhaps I should lead the way."

Zangulus didn't give her a choice as he dragged Martina down the hall. The men yelled and screamed insults as they chased after them. At the next corner, Zangulus spotted a large barrel. He smirked as he tossed the barrel at their pursuers.

The men screamed and dodged from the path of the rolling barrel, giving him and Martina a chance to dash ahead the next hallway. He scanned the area. Door, there had to be a door leading outside. At times like this it was best to listen to his guts.

At the end of the hallway, he spotted the large door. He smiled. That had to be it. Martina gave a yelp of protest as he gave her a hard tug towards the door.

"Quick!' Zangulus grabbed the doorknob and turned it. "We'll head in here!"

Martina pulled back. "Darling wait, that's-"

Zangulus ran through the door with Martina in tow and slammed the door. He panted and turned expecting to find the exit. Instead he found himself in the middle of a large chamber. He blinked dumbfounded. "Huh? I could have sworn this was the way out."

Martina briskly tapped her foot. "That what I was trying to tell you, since I'd already found this place earlier.

Zangulus sighed. _So much for listening to my guts._ "All right fine, we'll head back-"

"You two aren't going anywhere."

Zangulus groaned as he recognized the slimy voice. Swiftly, he and Martina were surrounded by a group of armed hooded men. Martina gulped as the men stared fiercely at Martina. The enemies grew silent as they parted to let the leader through.

Zangulus shoved Martina behind him as the man clapped his hands.

"Good effort, but as you can see the great L-sama has blessed us with his luck." He sneered from his hood. "There is no escape and now both you and your companion will be our sacrifices on the golden evening." He raised his hands. "Soon, all nonbelievers will see the great and mighty power of L-sama."

"Who is this L-sama anyway?" All eyes turned as Martina poked her head out from behind Zangulus.

The leader laughed. "What an adorable question. L-sama is the most powerful of the gods. He holds power over both the Mazoku and the Shinzoku, including Ruby-Eye Shabranigdu and Cephied. Over the entire universe!"

Martina raised an eyebrow. "Is that all?"

The leader paused and lowered his arms. "What do you mean is that all?"

Martina huffed. "Well, there has to be more to a god than that! If he's that powerful, he must had a part in the creation of the world or something."

The leader laughed. "Of course not." He cleared his throat. "L-sama also carries a giant shovel."

Martina gripped Zangulus tightly to keep from falling over as the cult cheered. "Is that all? What kind of god would bother with something silly like that?"

The leader folded his arms. "Of course a non-believer would say that. Most of the world has no recollection of or has even heard of L-sama. " He raised his arm. "But we know the truth."

Martina twitched violently. "You want to sacrifice us to a god that no one has ever heard of? That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard!"

"Martina, you're not one to talk," Zangulus muttered.

"It's not just the great L-sama!" the leader declared as he stepped closer. "There are many gods that mankind have never heard of. Some were killed before mankind existed, other gods dwell solely in other worlds." The other men cheered as the leader raised his arm. "L-sama is the true god because not only is she the most powerful but she controls the creator."

Zangulus blinked. "Wait, the who?"

"The creator, the one who created our world and our fates. However, L-sama is the only one that defies him and hits him with a shovel."

Martina and Zangulus exchanged baffled glances as the brotherhood cheered.

"Which means it is only right we thank the great L-sama with a human sacrifice!"

Suddenly, Martina smirked and began laughing. It wasn't an ordinary laugh. It was a high maniacal laugh. The brotherhood ceased their cheering as they watch Martina step out from behind Zangulus. The leader looked at her warily.

Zangulus stood close as Martina placed both hands on her hips. "A sacrifice? Is that how you fools show devotion to your god?" She laughed again. "That's not how you worship a god."

She reached into her pocket and proudly brought forth her medallion of Zoamelgustar. "I would never dare offend my powerful Zoamelgustar with the killing of a human. No, the true way to show your devotion is to pray and bow your heads a hundred times." She waved it, forcing the brotherhood to gaze upon her true god.

"You cast spells that draw from its power, you vow in its name to take revenge upon your enemies and you even consider casting blood rituals...even though the sight of blood causes you to faint-"

"Martina, just what the hell have you been doing in your spare time," Zangulus muttered twitching.

Martina whirled around. "Zangulus, you're ruining my dramatic speech."

"Never mind that," Zangulus replied. "I don't mind you worshipping your Zoamelgustar, but we need to talk about drawing some sort of line."

The leader coughed. "You know we're still here right?"

"There's no drawing a line in worship!"

"Sir," replied the man behind the leader. "I believe they're caught up in their own little world right now."

"I would call blood rituals crossing the line!" Zangulus argued.

"I said consider and it's all worth it in the end when you can call upon your god!" Martina held up her idol. "Great Zoamelgustar, cast punishment upon those who defy us!"

Suddenly, the room was filled with screams. Martina smirked at Zangulus's face. "See darling, even these fools can see the true power of Zoamelgustar!"

Zangulus said nothing. His face grew paler with each second. Martina stared puzzled. "Darling?" The screaming cultists abruptly became silent. She turned around and was stunned to see the area empty. Every single deranged hooded man was gone.

Martina scratched her head. "Where on earth did they go?"

Zangulus made no comment. He grabbed her by her wrist. "Let's go."

"But darling, what about-"

"Never mind that!"

Elsewhere, unknown to both Martina and Zangulus, a purpled haired-priest opened an eye at the scene he had just witnessed. "Oh my, that was interesting." He sighed. "This will be a long report to Beastmaster."


End file.
